Great Expectorations

 

The doctor listened to my chest
and gave me a prescription for some
medicine to make my cough more
PRODUCTIVE
I took it to the chemist lady
who asked me if I was pregnant
or unemployed or taking some other
form of medication I said
no but I once had a
LETTER FROM BORNEO
she said that was okay

the medicine tasted quite nice
at first but then it made me
shake my head and make a wobbling sound
it didn’t make me drowsy I noticed
it let me get on with my
NORMAL DAILY ROUTINE
as promised on the box

BUT

although its demulcent action did swiftly soothe
and protect my sore, irritated throat
it loosened a lot more than just PHLEGM
and CATTARH
it stirred up all sorts of other slimy
and gelatinous words like
PARADIGM
(and a wonderfully extruded example it was too)

a couple of spasms and up came some lumpy
ANALGESIC with bits of food
this was quite painless and left me
with a little something to chew on

then fatty and corpuscular
a great gob of bureaucracy
I hawked and spat a short, squat,
quite possibly carcinogenic
OMBUDSMAN upon the parquet floor

the next out was like a sea urchin:
a sharp and pointed little RIMSKY-KORSAKOV
which had been causing
a nasty rattle in my wind section

Then awkwardly, reluctantly
a fa
a fac
a fact
A FACTOR
A FACTORY!
a fully automated FACTORY
already working to CAPACITY turning out
FIFTY UNITS AN HOUR
with shifts operating around the clock
now THAT
is what I CALL
A PRODUCTIVE COUGH!