Catawampus

A scary bedtime story
to be read in a piratical voice with all relevant business

 

Comes a-crawling through the town
eyes is green and teeth is brown –
catch you, crunch you, gulp you down!
Name? The CATAWAMPUS

Finds the gap beneath your door,
keep those feet up off the floor,
if it sees them, you’re no more!
Dreadful CATAWAMPUS

Just when you assume it’s gorn,
think you sense the coming dawn,
makes you wish you’d not been born!
Awful CATAWAMPUS

See its horrid hoary arm,
twistin’ wrist and sweaty palm,
say a prayer and sing a psalm
’gainst the CATAWAMPUS

Reachin’ for you in your bed,
hoverin’ above your head
then it grabs your feet instead!
Vicious CATAWAMPUS

Now you feel its cold embrace,
now you touch its frightful face
clammy as a piece of plaice!
Shocking CATAWAMPUS

Clamps you in a grip so tight
almost you be dead of fright,
will it scratch or will it bite?
Snarling CATAWAMPUS

Then it switches off the light,
wishes you a peaceful night!
Did I scare you? It’s alright,
it’s NOT A
CATA-
WAMPUS
(You were lucky this time…)

 

 

 

 

Dictionary definition of Catawampus – “A fierce, imaginary animal”