King Don Goes to Europe

(after A A Milne’s King John’s Christmas)
29 May 2017

King Don was not a good man,
He had his little ways
And sometimes no one spoke to him
For days and days and days.
When visiting a summit
With other heads of state
Although he hadn’t much to say
He shoved the others out the way
To make himself look great.

King Don was not a kind man,
He liked to shake a hand
And pull the owner back and forth
And boast about his brand,
But those who took against him
And tried to stand their ground
Would find that it was all a ploy,
The antics of a bully-boy
Who throws his weight around.

King Don was not a smart man,
He liked his briefings brief,
He had no time for politics
And watched Fox for relief.
So when it came to meetings
Where others had their say
In languages he had not learned
He waved a casual hand and turned
To musing on his day.

King Don was not a young man,
He soon ran out of puff
And after summitting for hours
He’d really had enough.
He tried to catch the others
But they had got a start,
The way was long, the day was hot,
So, loath to break into a trot,
He followed in a cart.

King Don was not a good man
Yet got to meet the Pope,
Who looked less like a man of God
Than one without a hope.
While posing for a picture
With family at his side,
King Don stood grinning merrily,
But glancing at the other three,
You’d think someone had died.

King Don was not a wise man,
He wouldn’t shut his mouth,
But scattered secrets to the winds,
East, west and north and south.
And early in the morning,
Arising with the lark,
He used his tiny, bird-like brain
To tweet away his angst and pain
And make his ugly mark.

King Don is not a good man,
But waiting in the wings
Is yet another awful chap
Who votes for awful things.
And if, as now seems likely,
King Don should fall from grace,
His subjects’ sorry recompense
Shall be that effing Michael Pence
Will swiftly take his place!


Picture by Elspeth Murray